31 December 2012

New Year's Eve Party Goers


Last year I gave you the 5 Stupid New Year's Resolutions post. This year I decided to have a different list for you. I've compiled a list of different types of people you're likely to run into this New Year's Eve. That means tonight!

The Party Guy - There's always one of these at every New Year's Eve party. He does it all. He does the funnel. He does the Hulk Hogan flex. He does the random sucking of face with the drunk girl passing by. He does the belly flop into the pool. And, he does the face plant onto the floor after the dropping of the ball in Times Square. He'll be lucky if he doesn't drown in his own vomit before sunrise.


The Jocks - They come in a group of five. You won't get any free drinks from any of these guys. They're all married and too busy watching football or the Ultimate Fighting Championship. They're on a fixed allowance, it's the only night of the year they're given permission from their wives to hang out, and they're working on their Bromance.

The Loner - He's the guy all by himself at the bar, watching everyone. He's not sitting facing the bar either. He's facing the crowd...with his arms crossed. Think Jeffrey Dalmer scoping out his next victim. Creepy!

The Polite Charmer - He's the one sent over on a reconnaissance mission to a table full of women. He'll buy a round of drinks while conducting his research. Data bank indices: which ones are single, who is the hottest, who is the most DTF. Charming, ain't it?


Ok, enough picking on the guys. Here are the women you'll find. I'm staying in this year, so you won't find the grumpy old lady in this crowd! =)

The Eye Candy - All eyes are on her. The guys are appreciative, their dates, livid. She's typically wearing a skirt which doesn't fully cover her voluptuous ass cheeks. She's looking too cute bent over the pool table while trying to make a shot. There are ten guys trying to get to her to show her the correct stance and how to aim.

The Gaggle - A group of ladies who stick together no matter what. All have long, brown hair (more than likely extensions). All wear skin tight clothing, hoping to attract some idiot willing to buy them drinks for the evening so they can make rent at the end of the month.


The Drunk Dancer - You know, the one who climbs onto the bar or high top table to show off her pole dancing skills. For some reason it never really works out for her.

The Puker - She's the one who gets drunk an hour into the evening, thereby leaving her friends to take turns holding her hair back while she pukes away in the bathroom all night.




Happy New Year to all my friends in the Blogosphere! See you next year. ;)




20 comments:

  1. Awesome and toooo funny list, Diane! But don't forget the Guidos! http://guestofaguest.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/theguido.jpg mahahahahahaha!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, randi. They are a bit young to be out partying huh? :)

      It reminds me of Jersey Shore.

      Delete
  2. Happy New Year! I admit to editing on New Year's Eve. It was a rockin good time. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe you, Kelly! This is my third year of staying home and getting a good night's sleep. :)

      Happy New Year!

      Delete
  3. Happy New Year!! We went out and had Thai food for New Years. Imagine an entire banquet table covered in yummylicious food... mmmmmmmmm!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I took my sister out for Thai food when she visited. It was my first ever at a Thai buffet. Dang that was good! :D

      Glad you had a great New Year.

      Delete
  4. What a crack up. Stereotypes prevail I guess whenever there's alcohol being served!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! But I was one of those girls having to hold the friend's hair back while she puked. Not fun either! lol

      Delete
  5. Happy New Year!
    Awesome stereotypes. I had a picture of someone in my every single one of the descriptions. (Unfortunately, Lol!)

    ReplyDelete
  6. You left out the drunken, pole dancing, grandmas! Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Woot!! Grandmas not stuck with babysitting! :)

      Delete
  7. Wow, glad I finally made it over here! Fun post. Like you, I stayed in with husband and children this -- oh, I mean last -- year, so partygoers where spared my ranting on whether the waitresses were professional or not... ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least you didn't correct yourself like so:

      wear, not where. oops!

      lol

      Delete
  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is why I stay away from parties! I'm pretty sure I'd end up being the Loner, even if I was there with someone.

    Good luck in 2013, Diane!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. omg, haha!

      In my younger years (before I could handle my alcohol), I'd be the one puking. :D

      Delete
  10. LOL---these gems are too funny. And for the record you are not a grumpy old lady--far from it. Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww, thanks! Maybe I should do another rant on Character of the Day.

      That'll put me in the grumpy old lady mood. lol

      Delete

I welcome feedback, so please leave your thoughts.

Contact Diane

Name

Email *

Message *